


The Nuns Sold Me To The Orkneys?

by aggravain



Category: Arthurian Literature - Fandom, Arthurian Mythology
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:20:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23323837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aggravain/pseuds/aggravain
Summary: I made a joke about the Orkneys being like one direction in those "we bought the main character" fanfictions and so i made it real.second chapter is from mordreds perspective plz dont flame in the comentz you preps
Relationships: Galahad/Mordred (Arthurian)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

I woke up to a burning pain on my arm. My mother, my horrible mother, was putting out her cigarette on my shoulder.

“Wake up, wretched sinner,” she said lovingly.

“Mom, what the heck?!?” I exclaimed. She flicked her cig onto the floor and began pulling cloaks out of my dresser and tossing them into a cardboard box. 

“You’re going to live in a different nunnery now,” she said calmly, as if this was an everyday occurrence. She continued to speak as she flung my belongings in the box. “They paid a lot of money for you, so try to make yourself look presentable.. If that's even possible.” 

My mother exited the room, leaving me baffled. Owners? Paid? My own dang mother sold me! She probably found the sick people on Craigslist, too.

Oh well. Figuring there was nothing i could do about it, i let out a sigh and finished gathering the few belongings i had and placing them in the box. I folded down the top and lifted it up, placing it on my hip for support. Goodbye, room. This was the last I would be seeing of you.

I trudged into my mother and I’s shared bathroom and set the box down on the counter. I applied a thin layer of winged eyeliner and two coats of mascara. I also used concealer to hide my imperfections because I’m insecure and think I’m ugly, even though my new owners/husband are going to tell me how beautiful I am fairly shortly. But i don't know that yet.

I ran a comb through my hair and put it, along with my makeup, deodorant, razor, into the box. I also changed into black leggings and an oversized sweatshirt that said “#StSeb” on the front. Saint Sebastian was one of my favorite saints. I also loved St. Augustine and St. Paulinus.

The doorbell rang and my mom called my name, which meant my owners were here. I grabbed the box and began walking down the stairs, but stopped when I heard familiar voices. Could it be?

It was. The Orkneys were in my living room. Were they really my new owners? 

“Hi, I’m Gaheris! You must be Galahad?” Gaheris said. My jaw hit the floor. An Orkney knew my name. It was at that moment my arms decided to give out and my box collapsed to the floor. The knights knelt down to help me pick up my belongings, which were now scattered everywhere, and they all introduced themselves.

“I know who Gawain is,” I explained. “My dad’s a big fan.” 

“Always a pleasure to meet sons of exes! And I'm glad you aren't one of those catholics that hates horny people, because I bet we'd be off to a rough start if you were,” Gawain chuckled. Mordred coughed to get our attention and we all looked over to him. He was holding up my painting of Saint Sebastian, the one I covered in pink heart stickers and lipstick marks, giving me a look. I blushed and snatched it from him, quickly putting it back in the box. I continued the conversation with the boys, but Gaheris never took his eyes off me.

“Do I have something on my face?” I asked him quietly.

“Forgive me for staring, you just look weirdly like a french guy i tried to kill once,” he said. I shook my head, everyone always said I looked like my dad. He stopped by a lot to try and convince my mom to let him take me to his castle in France, but he always ran off crying, and my mom says he's going to Hell anyways. 

“Well, let’s get going then!” Mordred chirped. We walked outside where there were a bunch of horses waiting for us. I didn't say goodbye to my mom because the wench sold me, even if it was to my dad's favorite knights. 

“So why were you in the market for a kid?” I asked the Orkneys.  
“Well,” said Gawain, “We’ve been having trouble appealing to the christian crowd now that we “committed grievous sins.””  
“We also thought having a grail knight in the family would help us gain more sway in court,” Aggravain added.  
“Plus we need to replace Gareth. French loving slut,” Mordred murmured. Everyone stared at him.  
“What? It’s true.” 

After a minute I realized what the Orkneys had just said.  
“Wait… am i in the family now?” I asked excitedly.  
“Yes, “ Gaheris said while smiling. “We’re taking Orkney in a new direction.”

He brought out a stack of paperwork from one of the pouches of the horse and waved them around through the air in the direction of his brothers.  
“Okay, so how do we go about with this whole political marriage thing. Do they just have to say I do? Gawain you’re ordained right? Aggs you know the paperwork side of things, they just have to sign this?” He babbled excitedly as he climbed up onto a horse.  
“Gaheris stop swinging those around like a madman you’re going to drop one, or worse, get a papercut and annoy me about it for the next hour,” Aggravain snatched the papers from his younger brothers waving hands.  
“Guys guys stop fighting you’re gonna scare him off- he's a Du Lac by blood right? Who knows how easily he cries,” Gawain took the papers from Aggravains hands to read over them before passing them to Mordred perched atop a horse towards the front of the group.  
“I think if we just sign the papers it’s legally binding.” Mordred looked nonchalantly down from his position on the horse. “You can say no if you don't want to be included in this, y’know. Don’t let my stupid brothers over eagerness to marry us away think you don't have a say in this. We’ll just drop you off at your dad’s place or something.” 

I froze. A political marriage with an Orkney? There were few ways this could end and what I’d heard about this family from my Dad in between his sobs none of those endings were good. Apparently one of their wives left to go to fairyland at one point. But, maybe this was my chance. My mom always told me I was destined for greatness, that I would be the best knight of the round table there ever was, this had to be my God given chance at that title. I could finally be the Du Lac that actually married an Orkney and achieved the Grail.

“Mordred,” I started, “I’ll do it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special fangz to lou and the rest of da ass gang fr the motivation to finish thiz chapta X-) 
> 
> plz no flaming, this ones from mordreds POV dis tiem to add DEPTH.

Chapter 2.

AN: Special fangs 2 my bf (LOL not in that way) lou, XXXgringolet666XXX 4 helpin me wif da workshoppn and canon. U rok! Ass ur all da loves of my depressing life, u rok 2! MCRTHURIANA ROX! 

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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was raining again, which i was happy about. I opened the door of my coffin and got out my black nail polish. I put on my MCR shirt over my miku binder (which i slept in, dont flame, black skinny jeans with the knees ripped out to show my bright red fishnets, and my black combat boots. I put on my spiked choker and earings in my pierced ears, and byronically tousled my hair. I did my makeup quickly (red lipstick and black eyeliner and shadow as usual). 

I looked out the dark window of the goffic castle I lived in and scoffed happily. I pulled open my phone and flipped to my playlist of all MCR songs that reminded me of my family and friends (AN: Ells MCRthuaina is REAL art. Dont flame if you dont like, preps!). I redid my black nail polish and began my way down the stairs to get breakfast. 

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My brother, Gaheris was waiting by my chair when i got to the dinning room. I scoffed at his awful taste in fashion as usual but he at least made an effort to listen to good music. He was wearing baggy camo pants, a black AJJ shirt on top, black doc martins, and I even noticed his nails were painted a garish shade of pink. At least he wasnt a prep like some members of my family who sold me off to a marriage for their PR. 

“OMFG… so hows the newly wed life going!” he said excitedly.

“Fine.” I said blushing, “the wedding isnt for a few days, Gaheris.” 

“Yeah but… a Grail Knight.” He chided.

“So fucking what!” I shouted.

“Thats so totally in right now. Think about it, the quest for the grail is happening in months!” He snapped.

I scoffed and pushed him over as i sat in my chair to eat. It was serial (booberry, my favorite) and blood. 

“Hey there loverboy :-3” Gawain said preppily as he burst through the doors. I shot him that said fuck you prep and he rolled his eyes. 

“Im not in love you stupit prep. This was all a ploy to get chevalier mal fet (Thats lancelot, but he converted to satanism when his mom and my aunt started hanging out) to kiss you and it wont even work because youre a poser prep!” I roared. 

Gawain ran off crying like a basrat and i laughed. Aggravain cheered. 

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AN: listn its Modreds perspective gawains just out of charatcer because hes not a goff liek morded?? Stop flaming in the comentz cus u just dnt GET IT!!!111! 

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It was a few days since Galahad moved in with us frm the nunnery he lived at before and i was planning on taking him into the nearby orkney woods to show off what real life was like before we got married fr real and had to deal wit h taxes and teh government and the unjust political system of our times that can only be changed through bloodshed and revolution. I even got him a gift to show there were no real hard feeligns that he wasnt a real gofh yet, even though he toatlly needed to chnage his music taste. No one listened to #STSEB but preppy cishet girls who think tehyre gonna buy them from their awful mothers who usually smoke and then hed fall in lvoe with them through some elaborate stage show. 

I made my way up the many stairs to his room (he stayed in the all black tower in the back of the castle) and knocked on his door excitedly. No one answered…. 

“Galahad?” I whispered. No one responeded…. I was startign to get worred so i knocked down the door to check for myself. 

I gasped at what i saw…. Instead of my fiance there was a half naked man posed dramatically by the bed. 

It was…………………………………………………………. St Seb! (AN: lou datz you!!!)

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AN: SPECIAL FANGZ TO MY GOFFIC BLOOD BRO LOU!!!!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HEY LOU DO YOU KNOW WHERE MY GAUNTLETS A

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“St Seb!!!!!! What are yuo doing here youre not my boyfriend!!!” I shouted. St Seb, the famous singer was in galahads room! without him! 

“Galahad went out to explore the castle a bit, did he not tell you?” Saint Sebastian shot me a questioning look as he let out a casual yawn, “He told me his plan was to find you first. To show him around, you know.” 

I stuck up my middle finger at him. No prep waz gonna tell me what to do!

“No prep can tell ME waht to do you poser!” I stormed off back down the stairs. 

Saint Sebastian's laugh echoed down the tight corridor around me, “Sure, kid. Good luck with him, he's a handful.” 

I stuck my other middle finger up at him and went off to find valahad MYSELF.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to rowan, rhys, lou and vexen for being moral support as i figured out the fanfiction i was originally using as a base ended with the main character murdering one of the members of one direction and that i had to create my own way to end this chapter if i wanted to contine this as a multi-chapter thing. thank you for your time im trying i really am.


End file.
